“You guys should actually PLAY a game of Storm of Magic and Blood in the Badlands before you pass judgement on them.” -Some guy
“I am going to actually wait and read the new Chaos codex, by Matt Ward, before I decide to write it off and sell my armies.” –That dude
“Seriously bro, Maid in Manhattan is a pretty good movie. J-Lo actually gives a heartfelt performance.” -Her
My answer will always remain the same to such comments. No thanks, I know better. That is not to say that I know better for you or anyone else, though I am always quick to share my own perspective with others, it’s just that I know what I like and I know what’s not worth my time. I’ve never seen ‘A Beautiful Mind’ … Why? Because I don’t like Russell Crow as an actor and after seeing the trailer, it did not interest me. It’s just not my kind of movie. Sure, I’ll admit that there might be a slim chance that I walk out of the theater saying that I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked the movie, but why waste my time when I can just watch the stuff I like again and write erotic slash-fic in the hours afterwards?
So when people say that kinda stuff to me about game… try it, you might like it… I have a similar reaction. Instead of watching a movie trailer and knowing that I am not going to enjoy the ‘Sex in the City’ movie, I am reading the rules and looking at the models and knowing a probably won’t enjoy the game. I don’t play WarMachine because I didn’t like the rules when I read them and the models weren’t cup of tea. I don’t play Malifaux simply because I don’t like the models, I didn’t even get as far as reading the rules.
Lets break it down…
Storm of Magic – I was initially excited for this game when I read the rules. It honestly seemed like it would have been a fun game to play every once in a while with friends. I began sorting through my meager amount of scenery in the hopes of finding enough stuff that could act as the mandatory Fulcrums the game demands only to find that I would need to end up spray painting pop-cans or else shell out $100 or more to my local dealer. After about 2 months of being more interested in painting and playing other games, and not to mention having no one to play with, the game fell by the wayside like so many other hobby dreams. So is it fun? Not to me. It never will be because I won’t be able to play it as much as it requires. It created wall around itself that I am just not athletic or motivated enough, from a hobbyist perspective, to scale.
Blood on the Badlands – I’m sorry but I know how siege games play. Long, slow, and repetitive. Why? Because its realistic, it makes sense, and because of this a small sub-set of gamers love it. For a good siege game you need one player outnumbered 10-1 behind the walls. Never moving and chewing up the oncoming enemy horde from the safety of their high walls. Lets not forget that this game requires us to buy more scenery, which isn’t always a bad thing. However in this case it kinda is because owning a castle means you MIGHT play with it once and put it away on a shelf for years. I know, I’ve owned 2 in my gaming career and both were given away as ‘gifts’ to a friend who wanted them just for the purposes of display.
Lets also not forget that no one asked for this. As I said in the last podcast, there are more people dying for an 8th edition update to their current armybook to the point where something like this just seems painfully inane and ephemeral. BUT BUT BUT!! It’s not like that with ME, I actually love siege games! In which case I am sure you’ve had conversations like this…
“Hey, wanna play a siege game?!”
“Um… I don’t have any shooting in my list.”
“That’s no problem! You can be the attacker!”
“Um… I play Beastmen and only have one monster.”
“Oh… well then lets just play a normal game of Warhammer instead of each of us dropping hundreds of dollars in order to play a game that doesn’t really work for either of us.”
“Um… I still play Beastmen…”
“Well then I guess you’re fucked.”
At this point in the story Games Workshop would then burst through a brick wall like the Kool-Aid man and shouts…
“OH YEA!! Get ready for our new Winter expansion! War in the Clouds! Epic WarHammer battles fought on the backs of dragons where every army can buy generic dragons and have them battle in the clouds! Featuring new rules for aerial battles, new Dragon magic lores, and cloud-based terrain using the new GW Cloud Kits ($59.99)!! Sorry for the Beastmen, Wood Elves, Bretonia, and Dwarves players out there! Your new armybooks are being pushed back for this release!!!”
At which point the two gamers sigh and stare at eachother with sad eyes.
The Upcoming Matt Ward Chaos Marines Codex – Fuck that. The chance of this thing making me want to play Chaos Marines again is about the same chance of me suddenly deciding to go on Craig’s List looking for Lucky Pierre. Google it. I’ll wait…
Yea. That’s how I feel about the new Chaos Codex. The truth is that I was pissed off the last time it was changed because they took all the theme fun out of the rules and made every chaos army nothing more than Space Marines with more spikes and horns. It wasn’t that I felt the rules were shit, it was just that I was stuck with two half armies that now felt utterly boring to me. I shudder to think about what’s going to change this time around with Ole Matt behind the wheel. Just watch, he’ll make Death Guard have this ridiculous back story where they all secretly hate being so sick all the time and are trying to find a cure for Nurgle. Khorne Berserkers will be changed into Khornite Zealots who worship Khorne as a religious Savior who blesses them with magical strength. The Thousand Sons will have finally reached pure enlightenment and become beings of pure energy, under their armor of course, through magic and undying patience. Slaneesh will… well… Ok, I will admit that in this case anything would considered an improvement.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I am a Jaded old gamer who just doesn’t trust the people who have been almost ritualistic in their ability to disappointing me over the past 5 years. So if you come up to me and give me the same tired reply of “Maybe you should just give it a try or withhold judgement until you’ve seen it…” I will continue to ignore you. I am not saying that NO ONE will enjoy the new Chaos Marines Codex, not at all. Hell, the rules will likely be jaw-dropping-ly over the top considering what we’ve seen up to this point for Matt Ward Marines.
So save your breath for someone who doesn’t already know better.
Remember, after all, who it is you are talking to…